We all know what it’s like when a teen is stuck in a mood – and let’s be honest, we get stuck too.

Teenage emotions can feel intense and unpredictable. That’s because the teenage brain is wired to feel higher highs and lower lows. They’re not being dramatic – their emotional volume really is turned up. And when you add hormones, social stress, and sleep deprivation? It’s a lot.

But emotions don’t need to control us. They come… and they go.

It can help to think of emotions like clouds passing through the sky. Some are dark and heavy. Some hang around longer than others. But none of them last forever.

Here are three practical tools to help shift your teen’s emotional state (or your own):

1. Shift with time

Ask: How will I feel about this in 5 hours, 5 days, or 5 weeks?

This “5 in 5” technique helps zoom out to give us perspective, and reminds us: this feeling won’t last forever.

2. Shift with your senses

Do what works for you – listen to music, move to a different room, take a walk, hang out with your pet, or look up at the sky. Small sensory shifts help redirect attention and loosen the grip of a difficult emotion.

3. Name it to tame it

Putting feelings into words dials down the intensity of the emotion. Try: “I’m noticing I feel frustrated” instead of “I’m frustrated”. This subtle shift helps create distance and reminds us: we are not our emotions – they’re just passing visitors.

Try asking your teen, “What are you feeling?” Then gently encourage them to get specific – beyond “sad”, “mad” or “bad”. The more specific we are, the easier it is to figure out what we need.

For more, check out the free How We Feel app – it’s full of great tools to help name and manage emotions.

Kim Tay is the founder of The Wellbeing Works and runs science-based workshops that build mental skills for wellbeing and high performance – at home, at school, and at work. For more bite-sized, no-fluff insights, sign up for her (very occasional, no-spam) newsletter here.

Read Kim’s first post here.

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