Things got explicit at the Lake Wanaka Centre this week, and Richie Hardcore’s message of what young people are learning from pornography was an eyeopener for some local parents. 

Richie, who was invited to Wanaka by the Wanaka Alcohol Group (WAG), spoke to an audience of 100, in line with alert level two restrictions, at the Lake Wanaka Centre on Tuesday evening (September 15).

Richie started by recalling his first introduction to porn on a VHS tape, as a ten-year-old. 

Now, however, “porn is everywhere, and it’s free”, he said. The nature of porn has also changed, as people seek constant novelty - and porn delivers.

Richie said a “huge amount” of porn is consumed: 30 per cent of all data transferred globally is porn, and the world’s most popular porn site had 42 million visits in 2019.

Not only that, but many young people have “unfettered access” to porn on social media.

Richie said young people have “unfettered access” to porn. PHOTO: Supplied

“Porn is so ubiquitous it shapes everything,” Richie said. He went on to show how porn is normalised in the lyrics of pop music; it normalises the recording of sex, and normalises sexual aggression to females.

“Porn shapes us, shapes our culture,” he said. “Mainstream culture recreates porn’s scripts.”

The result is “sexist education” for young people, he said. “We need to talk about mainstream pornography not being a good model.”

“We need to find age appropriate ways to talk about consent,” he said, adding that because young people aren’t having these conversations, porn “fills the gap”.

“Kids are going to hospital with sex related injuries. You need to learn to talk to your kids.”

Mount Aspiring College (MAC) health and physical education teacher Carol Bradley, who encouraged WAG to invite Richie to Wanaka, said the issues raised were “incredibly confronting”, but not surprising to her.

“The stories he has shared are actually in our community,” WAG spokesperson Bronwyn Coers said, and her comment was echoed by Wanaka public health nurse Pip McLean.

Richie shared these tips, from the Office for the Classification of Film and Literature, for having open and unembarrassed conversations with your teenager:

• Choose the right moment. A private, quiet time to talk, like a car ride or during an activity together.
• Be open and honest. Acknowledge that this conversation may be awkward.
• Show respect. Respect their opinions and boundaries, don’t embarrass them by making jokes.
• Actively listen. Try to let your own ideas take a back seat and really listen.
• Learn from them. Get them to teach you what they know about things like consent.
• Be patient. Don’t give up, try and try again

Bronwyn said resources were also available locally to help parents, who could contact MAC, Wanaka police youth office Phil Vink, or Community Networks Wanaka manager Kate Murray for more information.