What Parents Took Away from the Night

Last Thursday, more than 200 parents, caregivers and teachers filled the Lake Wānaka Centre to hear Rob Cope share the hard truths about keeping our kids safe online.

The impact was evident. Parents left with practical strategies, renewed determination, and the relief of knowing they’re not facing this challenge alone.

Staying Alert & Setting Boundaries

“Not to slack off ever — to be on guard always.”

Rob didn’t sugarcoat it: “... what used to happen to 13-year-olds is now happening to 7-year-olds. Devices are being handed to kids younger and younger, and without filters or boundaries in place, it’s not a question of if they’ll be exposed to harmful content, but when”.

From free gaming apps with embedded porn pop-ups to late-night scroll sessions, the risks are real, and they’re happening in our homes.

Rob spoke about delaying devices for as long as possible, keeping them in shared family spaces, and locking gaming down to friends-only. And if that means being “the bad guy” for a while? So be it. Rob reminded us: “I don’t care what the kids accept. We’re the parents.”

Practical Tools & Protections

Rob described today’s tech as “super stimulants” — dopamine-driven, deliberately addictive, and impossible to compete with in real life.

“Real life becomes grey when a device is constantly lighting up your brain.”

Parents left being advised to install stronger filters, revisit screen time rules, and remove devices from bedrooms and bathrooms altogether. It’s not just about limits. It’s about creating space for better things.

Connection Over Control

“Connection trumps every time.”

A recurring theme on the night was the need to reconnect with our children. No tech filter can replace an open conversation, or a culture at home where trust and values shape how devices are used.

Rob stressed the importance of eating dinner together, device-free - and reminded us that “zombie town” starts with parents too. If we’re always on our phones, we’re modelling the very thing we’re trying to prevent. Boredom, as one parent noted, is actually good. It fosters creativity, curiosity, and real-world engagement - all things our kids are quietly craving.

The Bigger Picture

“This isn’t just about your child”.

Porn, gambling apps, blue-light sleep disruption, in-game grooming - it’s all happening here, right now, everywhere. Exhausted kids are turning up to school unable to concentrate. Employers are reporting young adults unable to stay focused for longer than a TikTok. We’re raising a generation of children who are overstimulated, under-connected, and missing out on the best parts of growing up.

But it’s not too late. As Rob put it: “This is the culture we’ve created. But we can change it.”

Rob Cope’s Top Tips for the School Holidays

Simple, strong steps every parent can take to protect their kids online

1. No Devices in Bedrooms… Ever! Make this a non-negotiable. Phones, tablets, gaming consoles - they don’t belong where kids sleep. “A lot of parents say, ‘My kid can’t sleep without their tablet.’ That’s just the culture you’ve created.”
2. Install Filters on Every Device: All devices, including phones and home Wi-Fi, must be filtered. No child should have unfiltered internet access - not even for a second. “If your child has a device without a filter, it’s only a matter of time before they discover porn - it’s not if, it’s when.”
3. No More Zombie Town: Start reclaiming back family life. Sit at the dinner table. Talk - Laugh - Be bored together. “We don’t sit at the table anymore. Life’s become a chaotic mess. We need to bring the family back.”
4. Connection Beats Control - Talk to your kids about everything. Explain boundaries, don’t just enforce them. But don’t be afraid to draw the line when needed. “Sometimes you’ve just had enough. That’s OK. Say: ‘this is what’s happening. Stop it. End of story.”
5. Be the Parent — Not the Best Mate: Lead. Guide. Protect. That’s your role. “I don’t care what the kids accept. Who gives a sh*t what the kids think? I’m their parent, not their mate.”
6. Half an Hour a Day is Plenty: Rob recommends a maximum of 30 minutes screen time per day. Kids will push back, especially if they’re used to hours. But the shift is worth it. “We removed the TV for one week. My 14-year-old son read a 550-page book. My stepdaughter wrote four chapters of her own.”
7. Model It Yourself: Kids copy what they see. If you’re glued to your phone, don’t be surprised when they are too. “We created this. We allowed it. If you’re addicted to your own device, you won’t be able to stop your kids.”
8. Don’t Normalise Porn Access Talk to your sons. Step in early. “A lot of dads think today’s porn is like Playboy. It’s not. It’s violent, degrading, and addictive.”
9. Don’t Confuse Discipline with Meanness: Boundaries show love. Lack of boundaries is what’s actually harmful. “Discipline doesn’t equal being mean. Not disciplining your kids? That’s what’s mean.”
10.  Advocate for Systemic Change: Rob wants the government to mandate filtering for all under-18s — and believes it’s entirely possible. But the first place to change starts is at home. “Just because the horse has bolted doesn’t mean we don’t go get it back.”

Final Word from Rob:

“Our kids are drowning. We’ve got to up our game.”

Parents take the time these holidays - Educate yourselves!

Watch Our Kids Online (1:29) - now available free on YouTube

Watch ‘The Social Dilemma’ (1:34) - available on Netflix

As Rob says, “When I protect my kids online, I also protect yours, so please protect your kids online so that you are also protecting mine.”

So let’s stay curious, connected, and courageous — together we’ve got this.

Happy & safe holidays Wānaka Whānau!

Acknowledgment:

With support from Te Kura o Tititea Mount Aspiring College, Kahu Youth Trust, Community Link, & Alps Admin, we extend our grateful thanks to our funders QLDC Community Fund & Central Lakes Trust for enabling Path Wānaka | Ara Ki Wānaka to host “Our Kids Online” this year.